So, there were two different frozen alfredos on sale and I’ve had a hankering for a melted cheese adventure for awhile so I figured I’d review them and talk a bit about their ingredients.

The Contenders

Michelina’s Alfredo 99¢ on sale $1.99 regular

Fettuccine Alfredo – Michelina’s Frozen Entrees

Stouffer’s Alfredo $1.97 on sale with coupon $4.49 regular

Fettuccine Alfredo Frozen Entrée | Official STOUFFER’S®

Can your mom not cook? Were you born in the Midwest? If you’ve answered yes to both of these questions, you’ve definitely had frozen cheese products. These both fill the needs for that melty cheese craving but go about it in different ways.

The Magic of Cheese

Stouffer’s on the left, Michelina’s on the right

Michelina’s

Flavour

Michelina’s while immediately out of the microwave smells like sour cheese or old socks this actually works in it’s favor in the end. They use a cream cheese relative, Neufchâtel, though absolutely a knock-off that provides tang and gumption. They also used herb relatives and pepper providing a terrific zest. The noodles are iffy at best. Are you sad and want a warm and funky pillow to cry into and eat? These noodles are the bag. At even full price you could get them for just forty cans from your neighbors’ recycling.

Ingredients

The fascinating thing here is I’m guessing they’re using the modified food starch and gums to prevent the sauce from breaking. Regardless, I’d be real curious to taste the cheese flavour, it has cheese in it but how did they extract it?

Stouffer’s

Flavour

Stouffers has some insane directions for microwaving. Out of the gate nuking something on any power for five minutes solid is going to make your meal sad. Microwaves heat outside-in and the fact that it didn’t break emulsion at four minutes is impressive but by the time you hit five minutes you’ve lava wrapping an icicle; do not recommend. I did four and stirred and then finished for five. This is the alfredo for the family with the automatic mini-van doors; rich and boring and needs pizzaz. They’ve made terrific noodles and the sauce is delightfully rich but where’s the soul? I recognize and appreciate a blank slate is easier to make your own style but if I’m already buying frozen but y tho?

Ingredients

It looks like modified food starch must be the key for emulsification. Nothing else on this label could stand in, though, there’s a strong chance there’s a process I don’t know about to keep sauces from breaking at an industrial level. You could see the sauce start to break at the end of the five minutes but after stirring it came back together without issue. The wild thing is that assuming you just used straight salt and somehow all of your cheeses and other ingredients were salt free they used less than 2g of seasonings. Bonkers. Also, why it tastes like bland cheese soup.

Conclusion

They both have their roles. Lonely or lazy? Michelina’s all day. Want to impress a date or bomb your stomach with a pile of melted cheese? Stouffer’s with freshly ground pepper, touch of lemon zest, and a pinch of ground rosemary and you’re off to the races. Get extra fancy breaking out the toaster oven and toasting sourdough, rubbing its crags with a clove of raw garlic split open and then slathering it in butter with extra salt and you won’t even need to race. You’ll be dead asleep in a pasta coma with a beautiful smile on your face.